I chose that one because, I'm sitting by myself in the picture... and I remember, I made my dad take that picture of me, ha ha ha, cause it was really... just beautiful sunlight and I was sitting there by myself, and I remember I was sort of in this moment with myself. I felt peaceful in my loneliness, you know? Or in being solitary. You know? And I didn't normally feel that way. I was there with my dad and my brother and my mom wasn't there. And, uh, I remember I was just sitting there and they were doing something with the tent or something, ha ha ha, and I was just sitting there, like... thinking and... I remember specifically contemplating how I was kind of a loner and I felt ok with it at that time. And I said to my dad, I was like, "Can you take a picture of me, cause I think that this would be really cool and" ...I don't know, "I like my bandana." Ha ha ha. I don't know, and I was outdoors, and it's rooted and it feels organic. Yeah, just that moment was really cool, being in nature and, you know, having the realization that it's... that I don't really fit in, and being ok with it? You know? And I'm on kind of like my own path.

But yeah, no it's the same deal. Like looking right at the camera. I wanted to look at the camera and I wanted to... it's sort of like looking at it right in the face, you know? Like this is... it was almost like looking my solitude in the face. And I thought it was sort of dramatic with the lighting and I think that that also shows my artistic side too cause like I could see the picture in my head already. You know? And, yeah. Ok. ...Ha ha ha, yeah, we're the same. We're the same, we're new media! You can put that in the book - "I'm gay, and I'm new media." Ha ha ha! Oh my god!

I see a certain part of my life as not being in tune with myself, and not being happy, and being very disturbed and distraught and confused. Um, you know, I look at that picture of myself with that stupid graduation hat... and I see a part of myself there, like, I see the leader and i see the... busy person, but I don't see myself really, you know, I feel like that's a bit of a facade. You know? Not necessarily being busy doing things that are true to myself, you know? But trying to please others. That's how, that's what I see when I see that graduation picture, you know? I just kept so busy trying to please others and complete things, and do instead of be.

Thailand. This is the one that, I look at this and like, it means sooo much to me, this one. The trip represents a lot of different things, it represented me slowing down completely cause I was going on this trip and I had nothing planned, I had nothing I had to do. It was a very different lifestyle from what I had been living for 20 years or whatever. It was totally going against every grain in my body that had been, like, programmed since I was like, zero, you know? It was a huge eye opener. Um, and uh, I realized so much about myself on that trip. Um, I ended up getting sick on that trip actually with lots of panic attacks and anxiety attacks and, you know, I didn't sleep barely the whole time, ha ha ha. I don't know, I just came to all these realizations that I was so small. My life is not big, and what felt so big to me in Ottawa, was so small and didn't even matter. So I ended up learning a lot, like, macro? You know, like the big picture? But also relating it to myself. I use that trip as the switchover into who I am now. You know? It's almost like being reborn, cause with getting so sick I tapped into so many parts of myself that I didn't understand or realize before. I had to start just accepting who I was, like being totally open with who I am and not feeling like I have to hide anything anymore, like, contributed to my recovery. So that was a really big turning point in terms of accepting, you know, my gayness, ha ha ha. My gayness, sounds like anus, ha ha ha. You can quote me on that one. Yeah, so I don't know, that picture is like, totally the turning point in my life. In every way.

This is so me right now. All I'm doing right now is focussing on music, and expression and tapping into parts of myself, and being honest with myself and being transparent and not, you know, putting up those filters for people. Like, just trying to extract truth from myself, which is really hard to do. Really hard to do, you know you're always judging or analyzing, and it rarely just comes out plain and simple, um, and then so to see myself kinda like... this is almost like a projection into the future too for me, looking at this picture, because that's, it's what I want to be doing, you know, and I want to be creating for my whole life and I want to make a living off of it. That's me in my element. That's where I want to be all the time.